The Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency has educated that intimacy in marriage is not an obligation but should be a shared choice.
Contained in a public advisory on its X page on Friday, the agency advised the general public to always respect a partner’s “yes” or “no”.
It further explained that respecting ones partner’s refusal to get intimate with them fosters trust, love, and safety, adding that silence and reluctance means no.
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According to the advisory, the agency explained that Consent must be F.R.I.E.S — Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific.
It added that the ‘reversible’ element, means a person can withdraw consent at any point before or during an intimate act, and the other party must immediately stop.
The statement read, “Consent doesn’t stop at the wedding altar.
“In a healthy marriage, intimacy is a shared choice, not an obligation. Respecting your partner’s ‘yes’ or ‘no’ builds trust, love, and safety.
‘For your information: silence is no, reluctance is no. Consent must be F.R.I.E.S: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific.”
The statement added further that if discomfort or refusal is expressed only after the end of sex, then the matter may be more complex and could still constitute sexual misconduct if the initial consent was obtained under pressure, fear, or without full information.
It explained that the expression of displeasure after the act is described as the act of “withdrawal during.”
The agency further explained that; “‘Reversible’ in FRIES means a person can withdraw consent at any point befoe or during the act, and the other party must immediately stop.
“If someone only expresses discomfort or says ‘no’ after the act has ended, it becomes a more complex situation – it may not fit the ‘withdrawal during’ definition, but it can still be a case of sexual misconduct depending on surrounding circumstances (e.g., if the initial consent was given under pressure, fear, or without full information).
“That’s why the emphasis is on clear, ongoing, enthusiastic consent throughout. The safest approach (and the respectful one) is to check in and ensure your partner is still comfortable from start to finish.”
